In the dating world, it seems that fear governs a lot of the stupid things we do. In love, many of us lose our minds because we ultimately fear being alone and without the love of our partner whom we think is so special and fantastic.

What many of us don’t realize is that being afraid to lose our partners forms what counselors call “emotional dependence” or “co-dependency”.  The latters forces us to comply with our partners every wish, and in essence, sell ourselves short in the relationship. What ultimately happens is the eventual breakdown of the relationship because the partner who isn’t dependent or fearful of loss starts to lose interest. Co-dependent partners lose their sense of independence and base their lives on their relationship.

If you have a tendency to become emotionally dependent in your relationships, then you might be grappling with separation anxiety or the fear of loss. Here are some tips to help overcome this crippling paranoia:

Understand your fear

When you fear losing your partner, it usually has something to do with your childhood or previous dating experiences. If someone you’ve loved died or left unexpectedly then it’s likely that you fear becoming too attached in case the same history repeats itself. Knowing why you are fearful can certainly combat some of your anxieties.

Focus on yourself

If you’re afraid of losing your partner then it’s possible that you will overcompensate in the relationship. You will spend all your free time with your partner, and lose interest in those things that made you a WHOLE PERSON before you met your significant other. When you lose focus on yourself and your partner continues to live their life, it can feel like they are superior to you and you have nothing to fall back on. Don’t let this happen. Keep yourself exciting and continue challenging your boundaries.

Live in the moment

Some say that the true measure of love is loss, and often, we don’t realize how much we care for someone until they are no longer around. Accept and make peace with the fact that your relationship could come to an end whether you want it or not. When you understand that nothing is forever, you can start cherishing the moment right now.